Up, Down, Up, Down

This is they way my world has felt lately.  My weight goes up and down, my mood goes up and down and my exercise goes up and down.  Tonight I ran up and down too:)  I know that if I keep going things feel better and I know my mood is strongly influenced by exercise.  I feel so much better when I am eating well and exercising both physically and emotionally.  I think the emotional feeling is also very much influenced by how I feel physically.  It's clearly not rocket science and some days I step back and think "well duh".  I have some pretty wicked stomach issues that are very much influenced by what I eat.  I have gallstones but was told that they won't take my gall bladder out until I lose a significant amount of weight.  I was also told that the pain I feel in my stomach isn't likely related to that.  I have a fatty liver and that is totally fixable by losing weight and watching what I eat.  The healthier I eat the better I feel.  Less fat equals less pain.  Again not rocket science.  So why do I keep doing this??  Well I do it because I love food!!!  Today was a great example of how I can totally control myself but if I don't pay enough attention it can all go to shit.  We had a potluck lunch and all day meeting.  This morning someone brought in these beautiful big muffins and little pastries.  I took one look at the muffins and said no way!  I had already eaten breakfast and didn't need anything else.  Later in the morning I was getting hungry and had one of the little mini scones, then another.  That was it though, doing well so far.  Lunch hit and I had a little of everything and watched that the things I had more of were the healthier items.  Again doing well.  Then we got into the potentially stressful part of the day and the nibbly food was still on the table.  The healthiest stuff was at the other end and the crackers and dips were at my end.  I nibbled away but not too bad.  The thing was I wasn't paying attention to what was going in my mouth and I just nibbled.  Probably eating way more than I needed to.  Luckily tonight was a running night so I burned a lot of it off.  Overall I think today was a fairly good eating day and I hope that I can continue this way. 

Tonight was hill training:)  I get myself so freaked out thinking about how hard it's going to be that by the time I get there I'm so tired that I don't think I can do it.  Today I kept telling myself that I can do it.  I got there and got to the bottom of that hill, looked up and again told myself I could do it.  I was give a relatively easy workout compared to some of the other runners but it was a challenge.  As always while I was running up and down that hill I kept going between thinking I might die and thinking I was doing great.  I got to the end of the workout and headed back to the store pretty freaking proud of what I did!!  Next week we do hills again and again I'll kick that hills ass:)