12k of Bliss!!

The past few long runs have had me a bit freaked out about the half marathon looming in the not so distant future.  I've struggled with my asthma and tired legs.  I woke up this morning feeling that sense of panic that I had to run a new distance and didn't know what it would bring.  My stomach was in knots, my back hurt and I was scared.  To top it all off it was rainy and cool. I told myself to knock it off and get out the door.  I knew if I didn't do this today I would be even more freaked out about it tomorrow.  So off I went. 

We stretched and then were given our route (which rarely changes).  I headed out right away while everyone else got sorted out with their water belts and other stuff.  We always run about 1k then stop to stretch as a group before heading out for the rest of the distance.  That distance varies by person and what event they are training for.  So I took off and thought I would try to get a head start and maybe make it to the stretching point before they got through the first stretch.  I felt amazing from the first step!!  I made it to the stretching point before they even started:)  This eased my fears a bit and the rest of the run was awesome.  I learned that the 12k turn around point is at the bottom of a pretty ugly hill but there is the option to continue on level ground so that's what I chose.  Didn't want to push my luck.  Usually by the turn around point I am bargaining with myself, if I run for so long I can walk a bit and I will do this for the rest of my run, pushing myself to that next point but usually not actually walking.  Today there was no bargaining!!!  I felt great.  I stopped when I got back to Kevin, our water support person, refilled my water, ate a chocolate mint GU and started moving again.  On the way back I count down the KM's and today it seemed so much less daunting than usual.  I just knew I could do it!!!  When I got to the parking lot, where I usually stop, I was just shy of 12k so I kept going until my Garmin told me I was officially at 12k and stopped with a smile.  I couldn't wait to tell everyone about my accomplishment.  I stretched, headed to the market and back home.  I feel amazing now and am looking forward to whatever else the day has to offer:)

Up, Down, Up, Down

This is they way my world has felt lately.  My weight goes up and down, my mood goes up and down and my exercise goes up and down.  Tonight I ran up and down too:)  I know that if I keep going things feel better and I know my mood is strongly influenced by exercise.  I feel so much better when I am eating well and exercising both physically and emotionally.  I think the emotional feeling is also very much influenced by how I feel physically.  It's clearly not rocket science and some days I step back and think "well duh".  I have some pretty wicked stomach issues that are very much influenced by what I eat.  I have gallstones but was told that they won't take my gall bladder out until I lose a significant amount of weight.  I was also told that the pain I feel in my stomach isn't likely related to that.  I have a fatty liver and that is totally fixable by losing weight and watching what I eat.  The healthier I eat the better I feel.  Less fat equals less pain.  Again not rocket science.  So why do I keep doing this??  Well I do it because I love food!!!  Today was a great example of how I can totally control myself but if I don't pay enough attention it can all go to shit.  We had a potluck lunch and all day meeting.  This morning someone brought in these beautiful big muffins and little pastries.  I took one look at the muffins and said no way!  I had already eaten breakfast and didn't need anything else.  Later in the morning I was getting hungry and had one of the little mini scones, then another.  That was it though, doing well so far.  Lunch hit and I had a little of everything and watched that the things I had more of were the healthier items.  Again doing well.  Then we got into the potentially stressful part of the day and the nibbly food was still on the table.  The healthiest stuff was at the other end and the crackers and dips were at my end.  I nibbled away but not too bad.  The thing was I wasn't paying attention to what was going in my mouth and I just nibbled.  Probably eating way more than I needed to.  Luckily tonight was a running night so I burned a lot of it off.  Overall I think today was a fairly good eating day and I hope that I can continue this way. 

Tonight was hill training:)  I get myself so freaked out thinking about how hard it's going to be that by the time I get there I'm so tired that I don't think I can do it.  Today I kept telling myself that I can do it.  I got there and got to the bottom of that hill, looked up and again told myself I could do it.  I was give a relatively easy workout compared to some of the other runners but it was a challenge.  As always while I was running up and down that hill I kept going between thinking I might die and thinking I was doing great.  I got to the end of the workout and headed back to the store pretty freaking proud of what I did!!  Next week we do hills again and again I'll kick that hills ass:)

So Proud:)

Today was a much better day.  Work went by much faster than yesterday and the gym was awesome!  I had an appointment set up with a trainer to get a routine going.  He was so awesome and maybe my new best friend.  See most people look at the fat chick at the gym and assume they can't do anything.  This guy asked lots of questions and when he heard that I was a runner and had been for more than a year he set up my program much more difficult than he would for a beginner.  He also didn't start things with the lightest weight!  He guessed at higher weights for most machines and it was perfect.  He then decided that since I exercise regularly he would show me some things that I can do even without the gym.  He had me doing squats, just plain squats, ones with a medicine ball and then jumping squats.  That's going to hurt in the morning:(  My favorite part was when he asked if I knew how to do planks.  Do I know how to do planks???  Oh yeah!!!  When I told him that I indeed knew how to do planks he said "show me".  I showed and he was impressed.  He then gave some suggestions to make them better and suggested several different planks to do.  Now squats and planks are a part of my regular workout routine.

I'm so excited to start this new routine on my own and to watch the results!

Blah:(

Well it's been a long day and one that I don't wish to repeat soon.  I woke up with that "oh crap I might be getting a cold" feeling, had to spend most of the day in the office and had a crappy run.  I still have that feeling of getting a cold but it's not getting any worse so now I'm thinking allergy season has arrived.  I don't have any allergy medication to test my theory though so we wait and see.  My run was supposed to be 70 minutes but only lasted about 40 because I couldn't breath properly and my legs felt like lead.  I was angry and disappointed about that but know that one bad run doesn't mean much.  It's the fact that I've been having more bad runs lately.  I have some really good ideas why things are going badly and know how to get things back on track.  I just need to make sure I do those things.  The past couple of weeks I have not been eating well.  We've had too much junk in the house and it's too easy to stop at the store to buy the junk.  I know all of this and have done all of this before.  I know that it has to stop and I'm hoping that I can stop it.  I've caught myself faster this time and before it has gotten way out of control.  I will get this going back in the right direction!!  I have to.  I can't keep doing this to myself.  So tomorrow starts a new me.  I will clear out the fridge and the cupboards of all the crap that is left and I will restock with lots more fruits and veggies.  I will pull out all my favorite healthy recipes and spend most of Sunday cooking and freezing.  I will do this! 

As you have probably guessed this weeks weight isn't good.  It's up way to much for my liking but I promise myself that it will  not continue to climb!

Quick

This is going to be short and sweet because I'm just taking a quick lunch break then heading out of the office for the afternoon.  I don't know if I will be able to post tonight so I'm doing so now.  It was a great long weekend but everything  comes with a price.  Too much food, not enough activity and not nearly enough water makes for bad news in the scale department.  Things could be worse and I don't have a picture to share because I didn't have my phone in the bedroom this morning.  I am up a teeny tiny bit though.  The number this morning was 235.2 so nothing significant and by the time the day is done and I drink a gallon of water I'm sure things will look brighter.  Hopefully next week will be a nicer number.  I really would like to lose 20lbs before my brothers wedding in July. 

Happy Easter:)

I love long weekends:)  I enjoy knowing that get an extra day or two to relax and spend with my family.  I love that most long weekends mean spending time with good friends and being social.  This long weekend started with a run.  I didn't get to run last night because I worked late and then had to do some last minute shopping for the weekend.  I decided that I was supposed to run 8k last night so I decided to do it this morning.  I'm supposed to run 8k tomorrow as well but I'm not really sure when that will happen.  We have a pretty busy day planned but I'm sure I'll figure it out.  Back to today's run though:)  I ran a route that I haven't done since last summer.  The sun was shining and the temperature was just right.  I headed out to the canal path which has just re-opened.  It was so beautiful!  I took the long way to get there so that I could do a sort of out and back loop that would bring me to 8k just as I got to my street.  I could then walk the last 300m or so to cool down a bit.  What I didn't think of is that the spot I reached the path at has a pretty good sized hill.  Last year I could not run up that hill.  Today I killed it:)  There are a couple of smaller hills right after that one and I could run all of those too.  After that it is pretty much a gradual downward slope to the end.  I was running into the wind but that was OK because it kept me cool.  On the way back I quickly realized that it was much warmer than I thought and had to shed a layer.  I also realized that the gradual downward slope became a gradual incline.  Near the part where I was turning off to come home the incline increases a bit.  It's nothing significant but it's something.  Last year I used to have to prepare myself for it, this year I barely noticed it.  I sailed to the top and headed home.

These are the runs where I realize how far I have really come.  How much stronger and healthier I am.  These are the runs that remind me why I run:)

I hope everyone has a fantastic long weekend filled with family, friends and fun!!!

Another week, Another weigh-in

Well it's been quite the week between tree removal, dress shopping, workouts and general running around I'm tired!  It wasn't my best week of working out ever but I did the best I could given the circumstances.  I didn't get my long run in but that's ok.  The tree is 90% done, the girls have flower girl dresses and this week will be much calmer.  Last night we went to the Y and tonight I got an 8k run done.  It was much better than Saturday's run, I was able to breath which was a much needed bonus. 

Tonight was the start of the new clinics at Runners' Edge.  I always feel very nostalgic when the new clinics start and I feel like there is a new energy in the air.  Tonight I was rather early and sat in my car for a few minutes.  I thought a lot about the past 18 months and how much things have changed.  If someone had told me the day I walked through those doors, for the first time, that I would be training for a half marathon I would have howled with laughter.  I couldn't imagine the 10 minutes I would run that night or the 5k that I would run at the end of the clinic, how was I supposed to think about a half marathon?  When I crossed that finish line after my first 5k I began thinking about further distances but not very seriously.  Then I decided I could do 10k and started training for that.  I still didn't see a half in my future.  However, when I finished that 10k I felt like I could do anything!  In school I was always the chubby kid, then the fat teen.  Now I am a runner!!  I no longer define myself by what I weigh and what size I wear.  In exactly two months I will finish a half marathon and who knows what crazy ideas I will get:)

So if I don't define myself by size or weight why do I post my weight each week?  I do it because while it doesn't define me I know that even though I am so much healthier than I was 18 months ago I have a long way to go before I can say that I am really healthy.  I am well on my way but I know I need some accountability and the fact that my stats spike early in the week tells me that people are coming back to check in.  This works for me because really, who wants to post a weight gain?  Also I hope that if one week I don't post my weigh in someone will call me on it:)  So here's this weeks picture.  I'm happy with it.  I also know that I have been slacking a bit over the past couple of weeks and that it's time to get back on track.  No more snacking for the sake of snacking, no more excuses period!